Desi Men

Some consider a lot of the Desi population in the US to be Fresh of the Boat or more affectionately known as an FOB (kinda like SOB but, with a more racial innuendo as compared to a family-oriented one) which is some kind of slang for a person who is not totally familiar with the American way of life. By that equation, most people I know fall under that bracket.

Coming from a land of arranged marriages, picking up women at bars is not something that comes to us naturally! We expect that our parents would do the talking (read picking-up) for us and the next thing we know, we have picked up a woman, a bride, for life! The rest of this article is an attempt to try and classify the types of Desi men that you might come across in your daily (if you live in The Bay Area or New Jersey. For the rest of you, more like a weekly occurence) life!

Lets start with the Uber-suave know-it-all Desi Frat Boy Wannabe. This breed has swagger, money, intellect and all the right moves. All of this to make up for an exceedingly small penis size.

The next breed would be the Bumbling grinders. A member of this breed would usually stand in one corner and stare at Indian women at the club with a "I'm a hungry man and you are an Indian buffet" look. These guys will sneak up on their preys from behind and start the proverbial (uncomfortable) grind. Not to mention by the end of the night their either grinding with the fat chicks or leave early to go appease themselves.

The third would be the Lonesome too-classy-too-approach-anyone Drinker. These guys perhaps have everything but lack the confidence. So in order to make up for that fact, they will sit at the bar and pretend to be engaged deep in thought in the hope that some lady will fall for the Manoj Kumar (the Tragedy king of Indian Cinema) look.

Then there's the Insane Disco-Dancer. Straight out of a Bollywood movie and does the pelvic-thrusts and shoulder-shrugs. These guys are usually the carefree variety and are not afraid to make an ass of themselves (knowingly or unknowingly)!

And finally, I would enlist the Virgin Clubber as our final variety. Coming to America, living the dream, making money in USDs, there are a lot of people who would like to use that opportunity to check out what the great Western Civilization is all about. So, well, the Indian guy who is supremely uncomfortable, like someone just put a tadpole in his trousers which accidently made, ummm, a wrong turn is the guy I'm talking about.

Well, all I want to say to everyone is, have a good time, experience everything, but just don't expect to do it with the women I am with at the bar!!! Go do your time to land you one! Or, well, just arrange for a ... you guessed it - arranged marriage!!!

Never Ever??

Is it ever going to be possible to know what we were cut out to do professionally? There was an era when my parents (and maybe yours as well, depending on who's reading) had few choices. They had to pick one and feel lucky if they managed to make successes out of those choices. In today's times, there are choices galore. Some that are more conventional like architecture, engineering, medicine and then there are some which are newer like mass communication,event management etc.

If it was just an educational choice, then perhaps it wouldn't be the crux of the problem. In today's world though, it is possible to switch careers overnight from medicine to art from engineering to music. Its the possibility of these choices that really pisses me off. Not to say that choice is a bad thing, but this much choice?

Being a jack of many trades has never been more difficult, perhaps, in the history of mankind. If you are multi-faceted, chances are people will know about it. And if they know about it, chances are that they will compliment you and encourage you to take up one of those facets as a career choice. And if you like analysing your career and pretty much everything else in your life, chances are you will always question your decision! In the end you are filled with questions. It is very difficult to be true to your task at hand when you know that perhaps (and that's a key word here) this isn't the path for you in the first place!

So, my point is, will there be a moment of truth where we will stumble upon what we feel will be the perfect choice? A choice thats not only reasonably lucrative but also supremely satisfying? Or is it up to us to live a life of mediocrity, raise kids, show up to work, have a few laughs, fiddle with a lil something on the PC (Mac for you Apple supporters) and go back to take care of daily chores?

Will these questions ever be answered? or will it be more like never ever??

Evolution...

I was breezing over my previous blogs. Its pretty amazing that at certain times in your life, certain things take up so much of your brain's processing power and your energies that you almost lose track of the bigger picture.

What IS the bigger picture? And I have been quizzing myself about that question as well. But your bigger picture need not be the same as mine. In fact in all probability, it won't be. But the important thing is to try and find out what it is and then always keep that in mind.

I know for sure that working as a Software Engineer in the Silicon Valley is not part of my bigger picture. Its fantastic exposure, I have learned a lot and I have met some truly fantastic people. But again, this means of earning a living does not figure in my bigger scheme of things.

What does? With the help of Srini, one of my colleagues (great engineer, good human being, good father etc etc are all some adjectives that I can effortlessly associate with him) I managed to do some psycho-analysis as to what I want to do and what perhaps will make me happy. I arrived at some conclusions which weren't totally new to me.

I also realised that sooner rather than later, I want to try and transform these dreams into living, breathing albeit successful or failing realities. There is also some sort of trail that I have laid down before me to try and achieve that! What needs to be seen is if that trail can actually lead to my destination.

There are primarily 2 kinds of people when it comes to taking risks. The first kind who prefer to have taken them and learnt from their successes or failures and others who prefer to stay way from them from the fear of a bad after-taste in the mouth. I'm trying to transform myself from the latter to the former with minimum fuss. And writing about this in a blog is something that will always keep me honest to my task...

Rang De Basanti

I watched the 8 - 11 pm show of Rang De Basanti at Naz8 in Fremont, California. Its 11:58 pm. I've just got home, changed and I'm writing this post.

That is how strongly I felt about the movie. I have a colleague of mine who tells me that I am still a child and I need to discover myself more. Well, I would let that remark pass by with a wry smile. But the point is that, with each moment of eye-opening reaslisation, there is a piece of knowledge, sense of self-awareness, call it what you may. I just felt that after watching the movie, I felt that way, like I have miles to go before I sleep. And which is why I wanted to write this blog before I slept.

There are times when I feel that I haven't blogged for a long long time and I feel that I need to think of some instance in my life that is worth writing about, humourous or otherwise. In this case the words aren't fabricated or forced but are coming to me natually, without much effort. Perhaps thats what real writers/poets feel purely because they have a strong belief in an idea, a cause. I just feel blessed that I can write this way, even if it takes a film to create that effect, which could in effect be once in a few months. Ofcourse, nowhere do I claim to be a writer par excellance, but just the experience of writing in this frame of mind is so much more rewarding. How it feels like from a readers perspective, that I leave open to you, the reader to comment.

I did not know what to expect from Rang De, and I really feel that thats the right way to approach the movie. The producers wanted to (and managed to) release the movie in theatres worldwide on Thursday as compared to the customary Friday. That date was also the 26th of January, Republic Day of India Now I know why...

If this blog seems vague, or incomplete at this point, well, the intention is that I want it to be that way. I want to encourage all of you to watch the movie and form your own opinions.

This movie, didn't feel like a movie. For once, I felt that the actors and the director were on the same page. They weren't mouthing the dialogues. They seemed to feel them. There was a purpose and the actors were fantastic in their roles. But the plot thickens. In an average film, an acting performance stands out. Here there wasn't one that stood out. Why? because all of them were natural and naturally fabulous. Which is why i keep reiterating that something like this is not possible if you don't believe in what you're doing. There are a few movies that really move you, shake your foundations, make you realise how inconsequential yet self-centered you are. This one does exactly that. This movie is targetted at Indians, and being an Indian, I felt emotions of anger and helplessness when I saw the movie. I think the movie struck a cord that I had perhaps not been struck in a while.

I'm writing this blog as I'm listening to the soundtrack of the movie. Rehman has once again composed soul stirring music. The lyrics, by Prasoon Joshi, fantastic. I think Rehman has also given the background score. They are extremely integral and add to the impact and message of the film. For once, the actors are not seen mouthing the lyrics of the songs. All the songs are playing in some form in the background and the actors continue in their characters as compared to getting magically transported to Switzerland, surrounded by 20 dancres, dressed in designer threads. Well, I found that unique and refreshing as well. The song Roobaroo just started playing. When you hear the lyrics, or even the tune of this song, you will never guess the situation in which this song was picturised. Brilliant again. The threading of the past and the present as portrayed by Rakeysh Mehra is seamless. History repeats itself. Times change. Situations change. But the fire within remains unchanged. Thats what the song Roobaroo is about.

In conclusion, this film would not have such an impact if it wasn't made with the cast and crew used in the film. The technical brilliance of the film is only overshadowed by its message. Which I think is victory for the film maker because the message gets across with minimum fuss.

There are things we think we can do and there are things that we can do. This film shows you how a bunch of college students breach that gap. The manner in which it was done is perhaps a bone of contention with some of the people who saw the movie. Like a buddy of mine who I went to watch the movie with, felt that the film conveyed a wrong message. I can see why he feels that way. But I took away a different message from the film. We are all entitled to our opinions. I'll let you form your own.....