Ticket Please!!

A familiar phrase to us desis, even the ones like me who haven't been fortunate enough to travel by public transportation as much as now, in retrospect, I would have liked to.

My context is a little skewed this time! I'm the one asking for the tickets and its not because I have decided to leave my (not so) lucrative software job and become a Ticket Collector. But in fact, I have been lucky enough to be at the recieving end of those oh-so-joyous multi-colored slips of monetary leakage - Traffic Tickets!

I have been driving in India, for a long long time. Officially the age limit was 18. But I somehow convinced my parents to let me get an underaged license at 16 something with the promise that I wouldn't drive! Go Figure!

After having done that, I obviously wanted to drive! I wreaked havoc but in vain! Finally my parents agreed to let me drive if I would be with them and them alone! Well, thats an improvement. Wasn't the coolest thing though - telling your friends that you can drive, only with your parents around. Then they would suspiciously glance southbound to check if I had diapers on.

I did get caught on a few occassions for looking young (I use L'Oreal to make those wrinkles disappear) more than any offense I committed. But I would always get by with my wallet feeling a little lighter. How light all depended on how the cop who had caught you felt that day!

Here, its a little different. Its almost like I subscribe to "The Ticket Times". If I get pulled over by I cop, I definitely lose. Why? For those who haven't seen me, I'm not a visual treat like a Southern Californian artificially chiselled belle. I'm your regular desi guy with very little to offer apart from a breath mint perhaps. But wait...thats not it! There are other ways by which I get periodicals! There are cameras installed in specific locations and if you're unlucky enough, they will snap you! Happened to me on a couple of locations where I recieved a ticket at home! Yes! Without even being pulled over by a cop! I thought its a Christmas Special wherein the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) thanks its regular offenders! But alas! It was another ticket!

Even now, sometimes at night, I can see the lights change- green...yellow...no wait...its red already...(siren)...dammit!

Piece of Mind...contd!

The sorrow absorbs all other emotions,
The truth I cannot hide,
My mind, a crowded place of commotion,
Pushing all sanity aside.

On Judgement Day, I see the stars,
Bright spots make me blind,
If what we see, isn't who we are,
Where is my Piece of mind?

-G

Piece of Mind!

The calm before the storm arrives,
This storm is from within,
The shredded peace, the painful eyes,
Is this because I sin?

Is it a tempest of emotional struggle
Or might it be True Me
Every occurence I cannot juggle
Need to be set free...

-G

The Modded Xbox

Microsoft did a good thing (for once) by getting the Xbox out. Its a pretty neat system for the price. Its a Celeron 733 Mhz with a 8 Gb HDD, 64 Mb RAM and a high-end NVidia Graphics card. The one thing that I don't think they accounted for (not well anyways) was the mod-chip.

Now this chip is a way to bypass the security mechanism built into the Xbox and the Xbox games. Microsoft has to put its 2048 bit key in every game for the Xbox to be able to read the disc. This is the exact mechanism that the modchip bypasses. "So what" you may ask. My dear fellow bloggers, this one chip is what will make life for all us gamers a much better place. Not only can you have this whole new, linux-based interface on the Xbox , but you can now use it as a DVD player without the frivolous Microsoft DVD kit. And, my personal favorite, you can use games which are ummm ... not exactly bought from stores! So there you go!

There is a whole army out there dedicated to ripping apart anything that Microsoft throws at its consumers. The Xbox is no exception. There was an article I read that Microsoft will throw consumers out of the Xbox Live network if they had modchips installed - even if they were using original games! Well, the modded X-Box Junta answer's that with setting up their own network where you can play with fellow modded Xboxes.

I think the Xbox and similar games, are transcendental. A female friend of mine likes to address us as "boys with toys". Well, I think its a little more than that! Its another reality. A domain of power and technology. A world of suprises! No Worry No Care! No Woman No Cry ... wait...thats Bob Marley!

Any more Xboxers out there?

Logic! or something like it!

Ok, this blog is going to be very concise as compared to all the stuff that I would like to put down here.

What is Logic is the question for the day. If you are to dig deep (nose picking not included), you will realise that all our facts are based on axioms that are unrefuted. For e.g. the simple assumption that 1+1=2. Although its a mathematical notation to signify an operation, its still an assumption on which we base all of our mathematics.

Ever since we were enrolled into institutions to "educate" us, we have been trained to believe all these notation on which we have based our world are the single truth and the foundation for future learning. Everything from ground up is based on these axioms which have remained unchallenged. If tomorrow, some unconventional, progressive thinker proposes a new system for anything logic-based, he might be awarded the Nobel Prize or pelted with stones or maybe both.

My question arises from this, if we are basing everything that we pride ourselves on, on foundations which are not more than assumptions, then isn't everything we call logic a farce? They say that the most intelligent human being, over a lifetime, does not use more than 1% of their brain. If thats the case, then the possibilities are endless!!! Maybe thats what they mean when they say "think outside the box"!

Sideways! and wanna be that way!

Went for this movie over the weekend! I know its a lil late to write about it, but yesterday was "Taint My Love" Day!

Its about 2 friends as different as possibly can be! Miles and Jack. Miles is a divorcee and a commercially unsucessful writer and Jack is an altar-bound casanova who does voice-overs for a living. They're college buddies and so Miles decides to gift Jack a good time in the form of a week-long, Santa Barbara wine-tasting trip before Jack takes the plunge into the ocean of marital bliss.

Without actually getting into the specifics of what happens on the trip, this movie is a fantastic example of what a camera can bring out without the frills we have gotten so accustomed to seeing in contemprary films. There is simple camera work, too simple at times! Then there are priceless expressions (full credit to the actors for this). Although this movie does have its fair share of physical humour, it can't be categorised in the slapstick category. Its a mature, subtle-in-parts, real movie which hits the sweet spot.

Things to look out for:

1. The near-orgasmic conversation between the characters Miles and Maya about the life of a Wine (even after which Miles can't make his move. It's painfully funny).

2. The obscenely hilarious encounter between Miles and Jack and the guy who's wife Jack has an affair with.

3. The scene when Miles finds out that his ex-wife got remarried and goes for an unconventional run with Jack in close pursuit.

All in all, a definite watch!

Taint My Love

Slightly controversial title for the blog considering its Valentine's day! 14th February. In Exactly 9 months it'll be Children's Day (14th November). What are the odds of that!!

I for one, thought (sometimes still do) that I'm one of those guys who would fall in love with a girl I would meet in the place I least expected and we would quarrel annoyingly ever after. But alas that wasn't meant to be! Its been anything but that!

When you break it down to the 0's and 1's (geek talk!!) its all about pro-creation! Its about chemistry and its about marking your territory. Man hasn't changed that much from the times when he communicated in grunts and groans (not the grunts and groans you're thinking about you perverts!). He still, deep down follows the same old laws of survival and social belonging.

Now here's where the "tainting" comes in.

1. Man by nature is not a monogamous creature. He needs to spread his seed around. Some men can fight that urge, but a lot of men eventually become horticulturists cultivating multiple gardens of life.

2. When a man is single, he craves companionship and when he has a companion he craves solitude. So its more like, the grass is greener when you smoke it cause there is no other side!

3. And finally, is there any love to taint at all? We talk about the greatest love stories of all time, and it all comes down to a man and a woman fighting to be together. I don't think I have heard of a successful "famous" relationship wherein the man and the woman never consummated their relationship! So they either mated or they died trying!!!

So if thats the meaning of this enigmatic 4-lettered word (amazing how another 4-lettered word, albeit a little crude, expresses that very sentiment without the layers of abstraction), then I think I wanna fall in love everyday OR do I??

Why Blog?

Went for dinner the other night to a friends place. There me and this friend of mine, got into a heated who-can-scream-louder debate about what's the need to blog?

If you want to get your point across to a person, call them, email them, chat with them. If you want to get your point across to a vast number of people, go write in some forum or magazine. If you feel that you need to share some important information, goto a place like slashdot and post it there and if the article is "good enough" it "might" get its due on the first page.

But what if my urge is just to write about something that matters to me and might not matter to a very large audience. Hell it might not even matter to my close friends. But, its just something I felt like typing out!

There's a lot of good that comes out of blogging
1. Over time, a person's blogs can tell you the kind of person he or she really is (so you know what you need to carry with you when you meet them- pepper spray or protection).
2. In this day and age where its getting increasingly difficult to keep in touch with junta, its a great place to let people know what you have been up to (if they care).
3. Also, if you're lonely and you think that you have your way with words and blogging might get you laid, well, its a thought...

The Man, The Legend, The Cricketer

Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar - Small man in stature, but has a persona thats larger than life. Came from a humble background, but gave us rich memories. Didn't know too much English, but took a sport introduced by the English and taught them a thing or two about the game!

Recently there have been articles in various newspapers, that this man is past his prime. His tennis elbow injury has taken its toll and he doesn't have the same edge to his batting like he used to. When a player has an injury and a slump, he's written of so easily by critics. Its understandable that these critics make a living by their so-called "critical analysis" of the game. They sometimes say things just to stir up controversy, because, all publicity is good publicity. If they had to say something to effect that "Sachin will bounce back stronger than ever" or "He's too good to let an injury peg him back", well, thats just something that's optimism and not "press" material!

I still remember the World Cup in England. India was playing minnows Kenya. It was a World Cup match nevertheless and it still had to be won! Sachin had just returned after the painful demise of his father. The fatigue was showing on his face. He scored a century in that game. When he raised his bat to acknowledge cheers from the crowd, he looked to the heavens almost saying "This one's for you dad". The pain was evident. The accomplishment - very real. The courage - admirable.

Don't know if he is past his prime. Don't know if he will ever score another century again. Don't know if his injury will force him to retire prematurely. But I do know that those tiny feet leave behind gargantuan shoes to fill and no matter what he scores for years to come...Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar, I salute you!

The First Job

23 years of education. Joyous highs and depressing lows (both alcohol-related ones and otherwise). A ton of paperwork (some worthy of regular paper and the others worthy of toilet paper). The sweet confusion of decision-making. These were only some punctuations in the sentence of my life as a student.

Internships, somehow don't seem as daunting because you know that they're short-term and ofcourse you'll be getting back to school as soon as its all done! Not the case with your full-time job!

When you get employed full-time and after the "I'm finally making moolah to support myself" phase, comes the phase of realisation. The dawn of the fact that this is what you will be doing for the better part of you're life. The intimidating climb up the corporate ladder from the bottom-most rung, from where all you can see are wrinkled rear ends.

And I have been told that the first year is usually the toughest. You know its your first year of work if you have trouble coming to terms with the facts like

1. You report to the same place on every working day (and there are quite a few of those).
2. You can't skip work because you had too much beer the previous night, or the same morning or both.
3. You can't tell colleagues to record their meeting so that you can watch them later (ahhh... school!).
4. You can't curse in the office... f***ing s**t ... that sucks!
5. You feel like you work on Mars because everyday seems like its a lot longer than 24 hours and
6. Every Monday you feel that ... well... the previous week forgot to end!

Superbowl

Hmmm.. all non-football lovers, please forgive this post. Its just that when you're part of the American culture, I think its very difficult to distance yourself from this game. I know a few people who manage to do it, and for them Superbowl Sunday is the best day in the year to go out and get their chores done cause everyone is home cheering or jeering.

When I first came to this country, I was appalled when I saw the game. To the untrained eye, its just legalising unarmed violence! Its like a wrestling orgy if you may! But after the dust has settled (or in this case after the 300 lbs bodies have), it does look like there's a little more to it than Wham, Bam, F*** you man!

Its analogous to a game of chess in so many ways
1. The Quaterback is the King - he gets protected at the cost of the other guys around him
2. There are so many attacking and defensive plays.
3. The whole field is divided into Black and White, like in Chess. The difference is in football you have both colours on both sides.

One major difference is, I don't think the Grandmasters and the International Masters really get to...ummm..."mingle" with the Cheerleaders.

So it was the New England Patriots taking on the Philadelphia Eagles. The reigning champs against the underdogs. It was a lacklustre performance by the Eagles to say the least. They didn't live upto my expectations. I thought that there would be a sense of urgency in their game which they never really expressed. The Pats on the other hand, seemed like a team who had been there and done that. They weren't overwhelmed by the occassion and although they did make their fair share of mistakes, they managed to pull off a victory.

Terell Owens- fantastic commitment and dedication! I remember Chinar telling me that it was next to impossible to recover from such an injury in such a short time! Not only did he do it, he ran for upwards of a 100 yards! Creditable to say the least.

Taxation

Its that time of the year again, returns, gains, deductions...numbers, dollars, audits (hopefully none). Resident, Non-Resident, a million forms, hours of time and effort!

The worst part about being single and earning is that you come under the highest tax bracket. Which means you get nothing back from the Government. Well, pretty much nothing. So in a way they encourage you to have kids or dependents! Us Indians have never needed any such encouragement. We just oblige. We have kids with the hope that someday, something will get deducted. Not happened so far.

This is the first time I'll be filing my taxes on my own. That has a lil something to do with the fact that, well, before this I had zero income! A year and a half back, my choices were- "What do I buy next? I need to save $60 a fortnight so in a few months I can afford a digital camera." Saving- Never really cared to understand that word before. Now, I'm surrounded by people who talk about bonds, equities, stocks, 401K and retirement schemes. Something, somewhere went slighly astray!

From submissions, assignments and cafeteria jobs to releases, visa issues and retirement schemes, its been a swift transition and a good introduction to a Miss Reality.

Questions

There are questions that arise in my head every single day of my life. No, I'm not 3 years old. I'm just, well, still curious!

Who am I? What am I doing here? Was I born to do what I'm doing (write code) or is there some other meaning to what I do? At most times, I lull myself into a false sense of superficial contentment, but the questions are here to stay!

Today, is just one of those days when I have decided to put finger to keyboard. I have spoken to a few trusted people about this, everyone drawing from analogous phases in their lives, have pretty much told me the same thing "Its normal! We all went through it!!". Although that did help me feel a little more "normal", but somehow I don't think I ever want this phase of inquisition to pass me by. Like a colleague from work told me, "We have a brain so that we can think. Nothing has to come out of that thinking. But we would not be humans if we didn't have that option." and that to me, is what gave me the most peace.

I have been lucky in a lot of ways. I sometimes feel that God has given me a lot more than I deserve. And just the fact that I have got everything that I ever wanted (ferraris don't count in this list God!) might be the reason I have these many questions. If I was left fending for myself, without the support system which allowed these questions to seep into my brain, I might be posting something else on this blog today...